I was watching a video today, and in it a woman was talking about being a full time submissive and that she was collared. I remembered hearing the phrase once or twice elsewhere, but I got to thinking; what does it actually mean to be collared?
First kountb I don't mind helping you,but if you take time to browse back to the hundred of posts, particulary in the general section,you would have found an answer to your question. So I repost below an article on collars and their meaning in BDSM.
Just like many aspects of "Bondage and Discipline, Domination and Submission, Sadism and Masochism," the collar is very controversial in its meaning and need. In many but not all dominant and submissive relationships, there is a collar or necklace that symbolizes a submissive belonging to
her master or dominant. The meaning and background of the collar has been interpreted in many different ways but the following are some of the important points.
The Collar is given to a submissive usually in a ceremony like a marriage ceremony but kinkier. The Collar being like the ring symbolizing the fact that the submissive is taken and no longer available. It also states the obvious which is that the individual wearing it is the submissive not the Dominant of the relationship. Usually behavior will tell you this however occasionally you will see a submissive trying to dominate his or her Master.
The Collar is also used for role-playing
games which are prominent in the Dominant/submissive lifestyle (D/s). It can help the submissive feel her role and Mastered which is what she or he desires.
There is also the connotation of the Collar being given due to the idea of a submissive being a "pet". Now keep in mind that some submissive do believe this way and choose to, and are exceptionally happy. However there are also submissives that are not inclined to this way of thinking and their Master is not either.
Now being collared does not always mean literally wearing a leather collar with buckle. The actual collar can be many different things, from a small metal ring that encircles the neck, to a diamond necklace. Chokers seem to be a very classic style of a collar for many submissives because of the tightness and incessant reminder of their Master.
In the past and some more traditional BDSM relationship there were 3 collars which you can liken to relationship stages. The first is a "Collar of Consideration" this collar is like the first dating stage for the D/s relationship. The reason for it is so that both the submissive and the
Dominant are showing they are taken and that they are actually trying each other out. The next stage is the boyfriend/girlfriend stage which is the "Training Collar". This collar is for the more serious dedicated Master/Submissive couples. This also shows that the submissive is training with her Master so that both become able to fit each others needs. Lastly there is the "Slave Collar" which is as important in BDSM as a wedding ring is to many other women. This Collar is given in a ceremony and with much thought and purpose being put into it. Usually with this set of collars they start out simple and become more ornate with each step.
Not all submissive wear their Collars full time, unless it is main stream enough to be allowed within working confines without distraction. However there are quite a few submissives that choose to wear their collar at all times. The pride behind wearing it is so very much like showing off your engagement ring.
Although many people outside of the BDSM world believe the collar to be a sign of degradation, it is actually something worn with pride and love from any submissive within this lifestyle.
THIS IS MY OPNION NOT A STATEMENT FOR ANY OTHER COLLARD SUBMISSIVE....
Kountb, The article is an excellent explaination on what a collar symbolizes. The collar for me represents my connection to my master (John). The collar also is an indicator to community that i am taken. The collar also reminds of my responsebilities and my calling.
i wear a collar at home and in public. i have an necklas that i wear to work that symbolizes my status, but looks more muted and not so obivious.
lisa (collard submissive of John)
This is another most interesting arcticle Sir. As I have stated elsewhere previously Sir, right now Slut Toni is not 'collared' or 'owned' in any way. And I really have no desire to be right now. I don't know that I ever will, but I also believe in 'never say never'. However, I must admit, that I do enjoy wearing a collar when serving and servicing. It does assist in my feeling submissive, and sort of 'puts me in my place', or makes me always conscious of my 'position', or 'station'. And I love a collar with rings (one or more) that are then used for bondage with me, as I do love bondage. However, on a side note, I must admit, I do like wearing tighter necklaces and chokers with many of my outifts (sexual outfits and regular outfits). I had never thought of the fact that they may be seen as a sign to others that I am submissive. But that would explain the looks of some people and even some of the comments. I do like sexy chokers, with gold, and silver and rhinestones. I have seen on sites where they have very sexy chokers that spell 'slut', or 'sex' or 'sub' or whatever. I don't have any of those, but will buy them someday. I won't wear them in public, but I must admit I do fantasize about wearing them in public. Maybe a long gold gown, and a choker that says 'slut'. Imagine the looks!
This is my interprtation on being collared SlutToni, hope it helps.
A collar represents the comittment beetween a Dominat and submissive, at first with any new play partner you may have a "Training" collar which means youre still his/hers, but the full comittment isnt there, until the Dom seems you worthy to receive your "Official" collar.
The main collar shows that your fully comitted to the Ds and when i was collared i always wore it round my Dominant in private and always in front of him, when in vanilla surroundings i made sure i always wore something that was not as visible, like a braclet or ankle braclet to represent my Ds.
Its kinda like a kinky wedding band i think lol, If you watch James train Madison Young on the archives of TTOo, they go into the protocols of being collared and you do actually see her at the end being rewarded with her collar, quite touching really, some Ds couples have a ceromony to celebrate their collaring and cement their Ds in this way.
Me being a submissive, theres nothing quite beats being collared to the Master who chooses you worthy, gives you a humble feeling, my neck is bare again at the moment, but im pretty sure itll happen one day (being collared again) im in no rush, all good things come to those who wait, so they say....I have a very good friend whos a Dominant and hes wanted to collar me now for 5 years, and his meaning for me in vanilla surroundings to show my submission to him would be to have his initials tattooed on the back of my neck, or have my clit hood peirced, wow thats sexy isnt it.....
Much love my friends Andrea.x
Andrea well said as always. (Damn i wish i could be that articulate..)
Madisons TTO shot is a very good perspective on how it is an emotional attachment and just a physical and mental attachment. When John collard me it was at intimate gathering of our group of friends, it was a complete superise to me. After a short little single tail scene for the group, John had me kneel up (postion 2) and he put a blind fold on me to keep it a superise. When the blind fold was removed (by another person) he was standing there with the collar in hand and a smile on his face. He said basically what James said to Madison, but with little more intimate information (i will not elaborate highly personal). The one phrase he did speak in which i will share is much like James said to Madison "No one can ever take this off of you, and you only can remove it for you are the one who earned it".
The only reason i know the speech, John wrote it up and revised and typed it out so he may get it perfect..
Damn i am tearing up..
Sorry for the bad grammar and spelling (8 years in University and English is still foreign to me and it is my native language)
Thanks Lisa, i find it easy to chat about our lifestyle for some reason, im pretty shy in vanilla (hard to belive lol,i know). Also yes i have to say, the whole four days, i learned so much from it and i will always thank James and Madison for allowing us into their most private and precious moment, will always stick in my mind and it was very touching i have to say....that what a D/s should be like,nothing more erotic.
I dont know many women whod take a 2x4 to earn that leather lol, only joking Madison if you read this beautiful.
Thank you Andrea. I always love hearing your opinions. We are alike in so many ways. Yet different in others. I do understand the symbolism behind the collars. And I certainly relate to the submissiveness and sexiness of it. Maybe it is something I will want some day, if I ever find a Master that makes me feel like I want to be collared. I know this is selfish of me. You mention a Master finding you worthy of being collared. Is the other side of that sword also not a submissive finding a Master she feels is worthy of collaring her too? In some circles I would get my ass soooooo beaten for saying that. I am not into 'body modification'. I don't have any piercings other than my ears, (and don't want any). Nor do I get turned on by peirced or tattoed guys. I am sort of coming to around to the faint possibility of a tattoo. Some of them are very sexy. I like small personal ones. A little rose or butterfly. Something like that. And I have mentioned elsewhere how cool I think it would be to have a red K with the devil tail (the Kink.com logo) on my breast or hip or above my pussy, with a slave number (and I would love to have the number 69! Lol..) Not sure I would ever do that, and I would certainly have to have Kink's permission. I think all Kink's slaves should be tattooed that way.
Thank you Andrea.
You and John have a wonderful relationship Lisa. I do envy you. I do understand the symbolism, and that is so romantic. Again, kyou are very very lucky.
Thank you, Andrea and Toni for the kind words. Being whacked on the bum with a 2x4 is definate "Hell No".